I was doing so well. I convinced myself that I could actually take a trip to a conference and survive and be productive.
I drove to my mom’s today. I did not need even a cane on arrival. Thirty minutes later, I felt weird things in my legs. Fifteen after that, Kathy was my support as I made it to the car. My legs didn’t even want to stand me up. I put weight on my legs and the muscles cramped (I say a cramp, but it felt like flesh was pulling from the bone) and I shouted the F-word in my mom’s house.
I made it home. I’m taken meds, but I can’t sleep because I hurt too bad. I want to save the Lortab so that I sleep tonight.
Yesterday, I had a significant event that scared the Hades out of my wife. I toke an oral Baclofen, and took a nap without my CPAP. She had to beat the Hades out of me to wake me up.
Between yesterday and today, I was reminded why I’m disabled.
Frustrated, and in pain, I write this blog entry. I need to meditate and remind myself that I have value. It is very difficult to do that sometimes. Especially when everything hurts.
Thanks, and God Bless,
Jay C. “Twitch” Theriot